It's Christmas Eve, and I hope all of you are enjoying the holiday season while keeping it all in balance. This is the time of year when we tend to get swept up in too many things, and pulled in too many directions at once. Remember to decide what's the most important to you and your LOAF (loved ones and family). And I hope you've set aside some time for LOAF-ing over the next week!
Whether you're on the Road to Gumption, or just on the road to your holidays, Merry Christmas to all!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Coming Back to the Surface
I've been on hiatus from blogging due to personal and family priorities occupying the forefront. Part of being on the Road to Gumption is knowing when you can't do everything, and knowing what's most important. Ensuring that my father knows he is not alone, in the aftermath of my mother's passing, became a top priority of the past few weeks.
This is the first Thanksgiving I've experienced knowing that one of my parents is no longer with us. Actually, my wife experienced a similar feeling as well, since her father also passed away over the summer. I was reminded yet again of how important this issue of balancing one's priorities is. My mother lived a long life, and her sudden passing was, in retrospect, a blessing because she lived her normal lifestyle up until the very end. But it was completely unexpected.
And so, as it's often said, you never know. If you don't spend the time along the way, you might not get to spend the time at all. That's what I try to remind myself about, every so often.
Keep your eyes on the Road ... to Gumption.
This is the first Thanksgiving I've experienced knowing that one of my parents is no longer with us. Actually, my wife experienced a similar feeling as well, since her father also passed away over the summer. I was reminded yet again of how important this issue of balancing one's priorities is. My mother lived a long life, and her sudden passing was, in retrospect, a blessing because she lived her normal lifestyle up until the very end. But it was completely unexpected.
And so, as it's often said, you never know. If you don't spend the time along the way, you might not get to spend the time at all. That's what I try to remind myself about, every so often.
Keep your eyes on the Road ... to Gumption.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Road to Gumption in the Sky
I haven't posted much this month. Soon after my previous post, my mother entered the hospital. After a brief stay, she returned home, and all seemed on the mend. But a few days later, she passed away peacefully with family at her side. During the time I spent helping my father with arrangements and transition, I came to know even more about my mother that I did not realize.
In her final days, she felt at peace, that she had successfully lived her life and traveled her Road to Gumption. My mother expressed privately to my father that she had had a long life, was satisfied, and now it was time to go. And a few days later, she was gone. That was my mother. She would make up her mind about something, and then set out to do it. So somewhere up in the sky, she's reflecting on the satisfaction and happiness of the life she lived.
We'll miss you, Mom.
In her final days, she felt at peace, that she had successfully lived her life and traveled her Road to Gumption. My mother expressed privately to my father that she had had a long life, was satisfied, and now it was time to go. And a few days later, she was gone. That was my mother. She would make up her mind about something, and then set out to do it. So somewhere up in the sky, she's reflecting on the satisfaction and happiness of the life she lived.
We'll miss you, Mom.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Whose Life is It, Anyway?
My 5-year-old is about to enter kindergarten (gasp). At an orientation session, a lot of other kids also starting kindergarten attended along with one or both of their parents. Though the majority of the kids appeared to be "just kids", it was interesting to see a few kids who were clearly the products of their parents. And I don't mean just genetically.
There was one little girl who was dressed rather inappropriately, with tight clothes and a tight, short pair of shorts with "Gap" emblazoned across her bottom. Now, I have nothing against The Gap, but somehow I don't think that 5-year-old pestered her mother into buying that outfit for her. I suspect it was more the mother thinking that her daughter should be wearing "the brand."
Another girl had on mini-replicas of a very expensive adult designer look, but something else caught my attention from across the room. Her mother appeared to be answering for the daughter, even if someone addressed the little girl directly. In some cases, when someone spoke directly to the girl, she looked at her mother as if expecting her to answer the question for her. I certainly couldn't hear what was being said, but the visual impression was striking.
To me this is foreign, since I regularly get chastised by my daughter for answering any question that she really wanted to answer first (even if she doesn't know the answer, but that's another story). While as parents we instinctively want to do things for our kids, we have to remember that they need to learn to travel the Road to Gumption on their own, too. We can "guide" our kids, but we shouldn't "steer" our kids, or else we risk living our dreams (or worse, our insecurities) through them. And it's their life that's developing in front of them, not ours.
Keep your eyes on the Road! ... to Gumption.
There was one little girl who was dressed rather inappropriately, with tight clothes and a tight, short pair of shorts with "Gap" emblazoned across her bottom. Now, I have nothing against The Gap, but somehow I don't think that 5-year-old pestered her mother into buying that outfit for her. I suspect it was more the mother thinking that her daughter should be wearing "the brand."
Another girl had on mini-replicas of a very expensive adult designer look, but something else caught my attention from across the room. Her mother appeared to be answering for the daughter, even if someone addressed the little girl directly. In some cases, when someone spoke directly to the girl, she looked at her mother as if expecting her to answer the question for her. I certainly couldn't hear what was being said, but the visual impression was striking.
To me this is foreign, since I regularly get chastised by my daughter for answering any question that she really wanted to answer first (even if she doesn't know the answer, but that's another story). While as parents we instinctively want to do things for our kids, we have to remember that they need to learn to travel the Road to Gumption on their own, too. We can "guide" our kids, but we shouldn't "steer" our kids, or else we risk living our dreams (or worse, our insecurities) through them. And it's their life that's developing in front of them, not ours.
Keep your eyes on the Road! ... to Gumption.
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